If you’re like most people, the last thing you want to hear after you’ve finally worked up your nerve to ask for what you want is a big, fat no. Rejection isn’t fun. But rejection is a great time to take stock.
That colleague looking intently into your eyes as he answers your questions may be telling you a fib. Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception, says to look for these common tip-offs that someone is lying:
Question: “I sit next to a woman who spends a good portion of her day typing e-mails to friends and co-workers. Sometimes these messages are a page long. This person and I have a history of communication issues. Our supervisor even said that our problems have been a distraction for the team. The relationship seems somewhat better now, so I don’t want to rock the boat. But she keeps typing, typing, typing, and it’s getting a little irritating. How do I handle the sound of this typing all day long, especially when I’m trying to concentrate on my work?” — Tired of the Sound
If you’ve received an invitation to a party at your boss’s home, yes, you do have to RSVP, attend, dress appropriately, mingle and send a thank-you note afterward, says Barbara Pachter, a leading expert in business etiquette and communications. And turn off your cell phone!
Call in reinforcements when you can’t make any progress with a nasty customer, by saying, calmly and politely: “I’m going to ask (name) to help you from here.”
If an underlying tension exists between you and a co-worker, now’s the time to address it. While it may be easier to ignore it, such tensions can mushroom. Use these techniques to reverse the momentum of mounting conflict:
Maintain a relaxed smile, whether you’re angry, glad, sad or scared. You don’t need to let everyone know how you feel. Hold your emotion cards close to the vest.
Next time you feel overwhelmed and frozen, tighten your focus on a few, easy things. Knock out easy tasks for 15 minutes. Then turn your attention to one of the hardest tasks on your plate, and work uninterrupted on that task for 35 minutes. Take a 10-minute break, then start the cycle again.