Category: Your Office Coach

Question: “My manager encouraged me to apply for a promotion to senior accountant. Unfortunately, after I submitted my résumé, the position was changed to one with supervisory duties.  Although I was one of four finalists, the job went to an outside candidate. I feel that I was set up to fail. Now, much to my dismay, I’m expected to train my new supervisor when he starts work.  At the same time, I am single-handedly running a critical project and also training another employee. I feel that management is taking advantage of me, so I have begun to look for another job. Am I wrong to resent this situation?” — Fed Up

Question:  “I often feel like an outsider in my office.  I am 61 years old, slightly overweight, and have gray hair. All my co-workers are in their 20’s and 30’s. The whole group goes out for “happy hour” once every six weeks. My boss’s boss came up with this idea, and he always attends. I usually avoid these get-togethers, because I don’t feel comfortable with the youngsters. Recently, a good friend said that this is a mistake. She believes my colleagues and managers will think that I’m snubbing them. I had a pretty good time at one happy hour, but I’ve skipped the last two.  Do you think I should start going?” — Old & Gray

Question:  “Our store manager and assistant manager recently ended an extramarital affair after the assistant’s wife discovered it. Everyone at work had been aware of the relationship for quite awhile.  Although they’ve agreed to stop seeing each other, the situation is still very uncomfortable. Our regional boss just wants the whole thing to go away. Sales have improved since these two started working together, so he doesn’t want to transfer either of them out. We’ve been told that any employee caught gossiping about the affair could be terminated. The assistant’s wife is furious that management won’t force a transfer, but she doesn’t feel that she can speak up. I would like to contact human resources on her behalf, but I’m afraid of getting in trouble. What should I do?” — Disturbed

Question:  “I sit near a human resources employee who talks very loudly on the phone. She gossips about confidential personnel matters, such as the amount of someone’s bonus check or which employees are being pursued by collection agencies. Everyone in the group can hear her, even if we try not to listen. We are all afraid to go to her boss, because they are good friends. What can we do?” —Concerned

Question:  “Our group has one person, “Cindy,” who is called the team lead. This is not a supervisory position.  Although she is just supposed to assist our supervisor and fill in when he’s away, Cindy constantly tells me what to do. She monitors my work, times my breaks and even contradicts my supervisor’s instructions. Cindy is not a bad person, and she’s good at her job. I don’t dislike her, but I want her to back off and stop giving orders. Because our open-door policy says we can go straight to the vice president, I plan to discuss the situation with her. What do you think?” — Not a Pushover

Question:  “For the past two years, the law firm where I work as a paralegal has had many problems. Going in every day is depressing, because the hang-dog atmosphere radiates everywhere. My immediate boss is under tremendous pressure and treats his staff badly. His temper creates a great deal of stress. I think it may be time to move on.  However, if you have any suggestions for surviving here, I will try them. This was my dream job, and I would deeply regret leaving.” — Stressed & Depressed

Question: “I am feeling completely overwhelmed by all my responsibilities. I have worked my way up from sales representative to regional manager in a rapidly growing business. My sales team consistently leads the company.However, I also have four children under the age of 10, and I want to give the best to them. I have considered stepping down from management, but then everything I’ve built will go into someone else’s hands. I will also lose a lot of money. Right now, I feel burned-out, especially because my job requires a lot of travel. I also volunteer for many church and school activities. After investing so much time in my career, should I just give everything up?” — Tired Mom

Question:  “As a help desk employee, I take calls from people having computer problems. Before this job, no one ever criticized my work, but lately my manager has received numerous complaints. Since every call is recorded, it’s clear that I have not been nasty to anyone. However, my boss always wants to appease the callers, so he lectures me about anything that seems negative. These constant reprimands are very demoralizing. Most recently, I got in trouble with a caller who couldn’t find a serial number. Our web site clearly states that this number is required when calling the help desk. The woman got upset and began to argue with me.  Instead of arguing back, I told her how to contact my manager, then hung up the phone. The tape clearly shows that I was not ugly or smart-alecky, but my manager says I should not have hung up. I am well-educated, with much more extensive computer knowledge than this job calls for. I am also rather introverted. I have started looking for a new position, but would like to know how to avoid these problems in the future.” — Depressed

Question: “I manage a group of four women who bicker constantly. They are quick to “cop an attitude” and get defensive about stupid little things. To make it worse, I recently hired a young, inexperienced secretary who is very rude. When anyone tries to instruct her, she comes back with a smart-mouth response. I feel like I’m supervising a bunch of tattling two-year-olds. I wish they would all just shut up, get along and focus on work. Sometimes, I plan what I’m going to say about these issues, then I chicken out. I know I need a stronger backbone, but I’m not the type of manager who likes dealing with conflict.  What should I do?” — Tired Supervisor