Category: Your Office Coach

Question:  “I’m not sure how to handle a new employee whose religious beliefs prevent her from acknowledging Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, or birthdays. In our small business, the owners have always encouraged us to celebrate these holidays. This employee won’t attend our office Christmas party, but she accepts the Christmas card that contains her annual bonus. She doesn’t recognize Easter or Valentine’s, but she eats the candy that the owners give us. She leaves the room when we celebrate birthdays, then later goes back to get a piece of cake. This behavior upsets her coworkers, who are starting to act very resentful towards her. They feel that she’s being hypocritical and that if she’s not going to celebrate, she should refuse the gifts and treats. The employee says that when she was hired, she told the owners she would not be able to participate in holiday celebrations. But now the rest of us feel really down, because we are having to change for her.”  — Nan

Question:  “For two years, I have been verbally abused and mistreated by a co-worker.  Her words and actions are more painful than being slapped in the face. This has lowered my self-esteem and left me emotionally scarred. I confronted this woman to find out why she hates me, but she won’t even discuss it. My supervisor says the problem will go away if I ignore it, but that hasn’t helped. I have also spoken to human resources, my pastor, and a therapist. Everyone says I should just leave, but this is the best job I’ve had in 25 years, and I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of pushing me out.  Do you have any suggestions?”  —Down & Depressed

Question: “Because I used to work in human resources, co-workers often come to me to vent. Now my manager says someone has complained about the amount of time that people spend chatting in my office. He said that he doesn’t blame me for this and that it isn’t hurting my work. However, he has asked me to start telling people ‘my boss wants us to stop chatting.’  I don’t feel that it’s my place to deliver this message, especially since my job performance isn’t suffering. Shouldn’t the other managers tell their employees to talk less?” —Not My Fault

Question: “In addition to doing annual employee reviews, our company requires employees to provide a review of their boss. Since my current manager took over our department a year ago, she has created a very negative environment for everyone. My manager’s boss recently sent me an email asking for feedback about her, and I don’t know what to do. Is there a correct way to give your boss a bad review?” — Afraid to Speak Up

Question: “I have a small sales agency with only two employees. Both have been with me for more than ten years.  Last week, I learned that our agency had qualified for a substantial bonus, which I decided to share with the staff.  As they left on Friday, I gave each one a check worth about three months’ pay. I was disappointed when neither one called over the weekend to thank me.  Do I have a right to feel hurt or am I taking this too personally?”  —Ignored Manager

Question:  “When I was turned down for a job recently, I was told that another applicant was more qualified. I feel that I was perfect for the position and I don’t see how anyone could have better qualifications. Is it acceptable to ask why I was ‘not qualified’”?  — Puzzled Applicant

Question: “I work closely with a young woman who is a complete drama queen. Every day, without fail, she has to tell me about some new issue in her life. She is constantly on the phone with her children or extended family. This is driving me crazy. Do you have any suggestions for saving my sanity without jumping out a window or putting this woman in a choke hold?  I have complained to my manager, who encourages me to vent in her office whenever I get too frustrated.” —Had Enough

Question:  “Employees in our small company have been told that we will get no raises because sales have dropped off. However, the three owners keep spending money like there’s no tomorrow. These men drive company cars costing over $100,000 apiece, take their wives and girlfriends to Europe at company expense, and pay big bucks for a VIP box at the stadium.  They also charge their kids’ cell phones and computers to the business. They tell us to cut back, yet they keep flaunting their spending.  Do they think we won’t notice the double standard?  No money for us, but plenty for them. Most employees think the owners are lying about low sales to avoid giving raises. Can we do anything to stop this or should we just leave?”  —Offended Workers

Question:  “At work, my husband is the boss. Everyone in his office thinks he is The Man. He also coaches a softball team, and his players think he’s the greatest. The problem is that when he comes home, he continues to act like a boss. How do I get him to stop this?”  —A Wife, Not a Worker

Question:  “One of my employees frequently takes personal calls on his cell phone. I don’t mind calls for important matters or emergencies, but I often hear him chatting with friends or discussing a business that he operates on the side. My main concern is that his job performance is not acceptable. He always seems to be preoccupied with something other than work. I discussed the issue of personal calls at a company-wide meeting, but he still seems to be receiving them. What would be a tactful way to deal with this problem?”  —K.B.