It is appropriate to tactfully let a coworker know when you believe her behavior is hurting morale. You can do everyone a favor if you clue her in privately and in a helpful, friendly way. Your goal is to enlighten, not chastise. Whatever you do, don’t say “everybody thinks this or that (negative thing) about you.” If she gets defensive—or worse, demeans you—try to shrug it off. After all, you’re not her supervisor, nor is she yours. But as far as managing your stress by “refusing to participate in the project” or vowing “never to work with her again,” that would speak poorly of you—making her problems, your problems. Management expects everyone to work together as a team, despite any personality conflicts. For more specific advice, see Difficult People at Work.
What would a conversation be without a speaker and a listener? Not a conversation at all. You need both. Yet we tend to focus on how well we perform as speakers, not as listeners. How much energy do you put into your listening skills? Polish up your listening skills with these tips:
Need to persuade a co-worker to embrace a new policy? Want buy-in from your supervisor to pay for your association fee? People are more likely to be persuaded when you share examples, references or testimonials from others they feel are just like them. It’s called Social Proof.
As people grapple with the urge to put things off, economists and psychologists have turned the study of procrastination into a significant field. And what have they discovered? Simply trying harder to “stop procrastinating” doesn’t work. Here’s what will:
Intuit founder Scott Cook’s first rule: “Be humble about your importance, and about how many answers you know and about how much you don’t know (which is always more than you think).”
Keep the size of a PowerPoint file low with these three tactics … Put a halt to communication overload by limiting the number of people you add to any group or process … Customize the toolbar of your web browser, so handy little functions appear as icons across the top.
Question: “One of my employees, ‘Kristen’ used to confide in me frequently about her personal life, but lately she’s stopped sharing any information at all. Although she assures me that nothing is wrong, she still doesn’t talk to me. She’s also stopped chatting with her coworkers, and she doesn’t smile and laugh like she used to. My other employees told me that she got upset when she overheard someone talking about her. Now I’ve learned from human resources that Kristen has inquired about a lateral transfer to another department. I don’t want her to leave, but I also don’t want her attitude to infect the rest of my staff. Do you have any suggestions for getting her to open up?” — Puzzled Manager
After 20 years of being a secretary, writes one administrative professional, she knows how to do the necessary work. That hasn’t kept her current supervisor or her supervisor’s boss—both women—from berating and intimidating her. The admin asks, “How can I learn to stand up for myself in a professional manner?”